Thursday, August 13, 2009

Is it too soon to bring out the soap box?

I love that my friends post articles on facebook. It gives a good insight as to what's a priority to them, their thought processes, and what's considered entertainment for them.This one comes courtesy of my friend, Jessie. If you don't have the time, it references a Self Magazine cover on which Kelly Clarkson is airbrushed to within an inch of her life and the horrifying blog post from the editor in response to it ("Did we alter her appearance? Only to make her look her personal best" is a direct quote.)

Now, I don't want to go down a common road and use this post to whine about how unfair it all is and how Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and all that. So I'm not going to rail against Anna Wintour, Karl Lagerfeld, Hollywood Producers and Keira Knightley for continuing to make "normal" girls feel like crap. What I want to do ask why this happens. It seems to me that the issue is much deeper than this.

A few years ago I was shopping for a dress online. The site boasted "real clothes for real women" while having your size 0 women model them. I wrote an angry and kind of snarky letter in the Contact Us section, not really expecting anything but feeling I did my part.

I did get a response. It was polite and regretful and full of marketing jargon and pie charts. Basically, it said that they used to have actual plus sized women model (usually a size 14, just under what's termed "plus" but more real than a 0), but when they switched to smaller model types, their sales went up 40%. Even the target demographic for "real clothes for real women" responded better to a size 0 than a size 14. We can't pin that on the fashion industry or advertising execs. The magazine tried to adhere to our ideals, but we neglected them for it.

We don't want to look at a pair of jeans and see an accurate depiction of how we would look in them. We want to look at what we want to be. As angry as that magazine cover makes me, how much better or worse would Self Magazine sell if a cute Kelly Clarkson was on the cover without being airbrushed down 3 sizes? My guess is it wouldn't sell as much. I'm sorry, but I really can't blame a magazine for doing this if they'd all fail for listening to our idealistic rants and campaigns for real beauty. Isn't it misplacing blame or deflecting a much deeper problem? What is the deeper problem? Is it something chemical in us? Genetic makeup? Do we blame our mothers? The history of oppression against women?

We want to be supportive of the "normal" woman and embrace our curves, freckles, height challenges, and any imperfections as a generalization; but we're scared shitless of ourselves. I'll celebrate you being less than perfect, but I settle for nothing less in myself. Why is that? Am I wrong?

Since deciding to switch to a more healthy lifestyle a little over 18 months ago, I've been noticing this other side to body issues more and more. I get asked why I'm making that sudden change. I tell them about how I felt out of control, weak willed, and scared to death of all the diseases that come with being overweight. These are my motivations. Most would still assume it's to get a man or to get myself in prime baby making condition. But I was already in a committed relationship when I started. And while I don't want to be dangerously unhealthy, I honestly have no desire to lose my boobs or hips or to be a size 8. Regardless of my size I will love my curly hair and I love having full lips. I will always be a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Of course I have a ton of insecurities- my glasses, my pores, my stomach to name a few. But it's not magazine covers that make me feel down on myself for them, it's other women and, ultimately, myself. Why do we do this to ourselves and each other? Or am I off base? Let me know what you think.

5 comments:

  1. "I'll celebrate you being less than perfect, but I settle for nothing less in myself."

    Oh goodness, what a true statement. Is this a universal thing among women? Are there really any women who are totally comfortable and secure, even when their pants are suddenly tight? I am all about encouraging others to be comfortable with themselves, and then I turn around and am mean to myself.

    Becky just wrote about hearing the term "skinny fat," and I realized that the term just inflames me. Because it's like no matter what, the range of normal isn't good enough. There are too many categories a woman has to fit into: if you're thin, don't be too thin; if you're curvy, embrace it and make sure you’re a role model for other women -- but guess what, even that isn’t good enough, because you’ll be Photoshopped if you’ve actually got a little meat on your bones! Also, make sure you're working out enough and developing that muscle tone, because that’s what healthy women do! Or if you're naturally thin, maybe you actually have an eating disorder, and if you’re not toned, you should be ashamed of yourself because you’re “skinny fat.” Gah! I probably need to write my own blog entry about this and stop taking up space in your comments. ;)

    We’d all be better off if advertising and marketing had no place in body image, but in our media-centric and idealistic world, that’s impossible. I love it when magazines tout positive body image and a mostly healthy lifestyle that allows for some fun and overindulgence now and then. I think that’s what most women are striving for — we just stumble when we’re faced with otherworldly models on every magazine cover. It’s hard to escape advertising, but maybe it doesn’t have to be so hard to accept ourselves.

    Okay, I’m going to shut up now. But first, I just want to say that I LOVE your glasses. I want to get myself a pair just like them.

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  2. Yes. This post really resonates with me. I'm not proud of how I judge myself--and other women too, often on a subconscious level--based on weight. I know thin does not necessarily equal happy, and being healthy is most important. I know these things intellectually, but I don't always FEEL them. When I noticed how much weight a friend has lost recently, I was totally jealous. If she can do it, why haven't I? It's such a sore spot.

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  3. Nice post Jill! The magazine modeling story is really interesting...and scary. It's weird how much this culture celebrates the idealized body type but doesn't give a crap about the potential ugliness inside those celebs & models - cruelty, ignorance, greed, etc. But take a relatively nice and grounded person like K.C. who doesn't match that cookie-cutter figure, and yikes, grab the airbrush! How about airbrushing all of these magazine covers - with black paint.

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  4. You. Have. A. Blog.

    ZOMG.

    A) LOVE.

    B) It's important to tell me about all great time-wasters.

    C) Update! Update!

    ReplyDelete