I've been workin' on my fitness

I've never been athletic in the slightest bit. My parents signed me up for peewee soccer when I was young to make me more social. I was so bad, they made up a position just for me- I had to make sure the ball from the other game going on didn't cross over to our game. After my mom saw me take a ball to the face, she let me quit. I did ok in swim lessons in that I never had to be resuscitated and I was pretty far behind the rest of my ice skating class- the instructor had me just skate around by myself without holding on to the wall. I was always slower and more uncoordinated. And that was ok with me. Between gym class bullies and my own neuroses and self confidence issues, I was able to find other outlets like reading and theatre. Unfortunately, lack of movement + poor diet= not good.

So after years of half assed attempts at places like Curves and Bally's, crash diets that lasted about 2 weeks, thinking "I went to the gym today, so I deserve a treat!" and basically just putting myself last, I decided to make some permanent changes. I wanted something extreme- like krav maga or jiu jitsu. This was also around the same time I discovered old school MMA fights on dvd. So it was pretty cool when this girl at work was talking about a kickboxing class that was a great workout and about 5 minutes from where I work! I was so excited about getting to kick some ass. But when I showed up, there was no punching. I didn't get to learn upper cuts or roundhouse kicks- not even with a punching bag. I put on a pair of boxing gloves that smelled bad and did your average aerobics class. Super let down. I asked the owner if there were any other classes I could do and he said, "There's some kind of strength training class that meets in the basement. The first class is free if you want to check it out." I read about how strength training is a vital part of any fitness routine, so I figured I'd check it out.

I showed up and the guy in charge that day looked at me pretty nervously. I said I was there for the strength training class and he then he looked a little annoyed. He corrected that this was something called "Crossfit" in a superior way. He was friendly, though. He explained the warmup to me (which was more of a workout than anything I'd done in years) and then I did a super scaled down version of the workout of the day (WOD.) It was the hardest thing ever. There were weights and pullups and pushups. I couldn't even squat all the way down. They told me to make sure to walk around the next day because I will be sore. And I was sore. I couldn't even get out of my bed until 2pm the next day. I knew I had to walk, so I went to the mall near me so I could move around while stayin indoors. I did some sort of granny shuffle because that's all my legs could handle. My boyfriend at the time thought I was going to give up because of all the pain I was in. But I was resolved. I did the wod. And, even though it was scaled down so much compared to the others, I didn't feel like I sucked. In fact, I felt that bad ass feeling I wanted so much.

I researched the Crossfit thing and found a lot of info. It promoted elite fitness- it sounded very technical and used phrases like "modal domains" but the idea was to promote a more general idea of fitness. It points out that people who focus so much on marathons aren't really fit because they're not necessarily strong. And weightlifters aren't neccessarily fit because they can't run. It promotes functionality over vanity- how often in real life do you take a heavy object from your side to your shoulder, just to put it down? What they were saying made sense in a way, but I don't think I really got the point just yet. All I could pick up on were that there are a lot of different workout combinations and they were all named after women or men that died while serving. One particular WOD, "Fran," seemed to strike fear into the biggest guy while only lasting about 5 minutes, while others, like "Murph," seemed to be big mental challenges as well as physical.

Once I could actually move my legs, I went back again. And again. And it became a habit. The soreness lessened each morning after, but I could still feel it. I still couldn't do a single movement quite the right way like everyone else, but never once was I discouraged. I used weights in the form of barbells with bumpers or dumbells or kettlebells. There are no elliptical machines or spin classes here. The only digital age equipment were a rower and the stopwatch. When we ran it was in the parking lot around the shopping center past the dumpster for a chinese restaurant and a dirty mattress. I felt like a misfit. It was kind of gross and makeshift and the ceiling was so low that we couldn't really jump rope or do a lot of overhead lifting and it was a little more expensive than the Bally's, but I didn't care. This was the most awesome thing ever. And I was improving quicker than I could've imagined. I started getting lower on my squats, could start doing pullups (with a band) and I could add more weight to my barbell. I could do cleans and push jerks. My body comp was changing and I was dropping clothes sizes faster than I can afford. My boyfriend hated it. It took time away from him, and I think he felt threatened that other guys started noticing me. It might have been the seed that started forcing me to choose myself over him. I really don't regret that choice, though, despite all the ranting about lonliness in my previous post.

Today that little gym has grown. Last year we moved out of the basement and into a storage facility that's about 3 times bigger and now even that's getting crowded. Classes have gone from 3 people to 13. And I've gotten better, too. My diet's changed (that might be a separate post), I'm a ton stronger and faster. I can move 120lbs from the floor to over my head. I can get almost 300 off the ground. I'm able to run longer and faster. I can do some WODs as they're "prescribed." There are still a lot of things I can't do fully yet- I still use a band for pullups and I can't do a handstand on my own, but even that stuff is getting better. And while I'm still not seeing the vanity perks of this, the fact that I'm proving 29 years of negative thinking wrong is something to hold onto.